That's Where It Is
by laurzz
Summary: DannyLindsay - 5x17 oneshot.


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A/N: One word. Squee. I love CSI:NY. Period.

* * *

_In the circles I've been running,  
I've covered many miles,  
And I could search forever for what's right before my eyes,  
Just when I thought I'd found it,  
It was nothing like I'd planned,  
When I got my heart around it, it slipped right through my hands,  
Here with you I feel it,  
I close my eyes and see it,_

In a midnight talk, in a morning kiss,  
When I'm in your arms, that's where it is,  
When we're tangled up and can't resist,  
When we feel that rush, that's where it is,  
That's where it is

_-'That's where it is' – Carrie Underwood._

_

* * *

_

"_Are you sure?"_

_Danny Messer collapsed onto his bed and let out a heavy sigh. Of all the things in the world he could have said, he said that._

_Are you sure?_

_Of course she was sure, he chided himself. She would have had to been positive herself before she even considered telling him._

_In all honesty, it should have become clear before that. He should have known. After all, she was going to bed early, and wearing scarves and baggy clothes. She had steered as far away from coffee as humanely possible, and had been eating dry toast for each and every meal he had witnessed her having. Hell, Adam had even mentioned weeks previous that she had blanked when he had been shifting through 'toxic waste'. That should have sent out warning signals. Lindsay had been able to shift through tiger dung, and it didn't faze her. _

_Maybe if he had paid more attention to her, he would have noticed. He would have noticed that Lindsay wasn't her usual character. She was withdrawn almost. Her usually confident demeanour had developed into something entirely different. Looking back, he could see she was nervous. She was scared and nervous. _

_And now, it made sense. _

_She wanted to get those two life changing words out of her system and out into the open. _

"_I'm pregnant."_

_But he hadn't given her the opportunity to do so. _

_His heart ached. It ached because he hadn't been there, supporting her when she realised that she was pregnant with his baby. It ached because she had felt the need to keep it from him._

_It ached because she didn't expect anything from him. And she was clearly, coming to terms with the fact that in just under nine months, she would, in her mind, be a single mother. _

_He reached into his pocket and withdrew the crumpled sonogram picture, and ran his finger over their child, as a tear fell down his cheek._

_He wasn't ready to be a dad. _

_He wasn't ready for someone to call him daddy. He wasn't ready to have that responsibility of someone rely completely and utterly on him. He wasn't sure whether he could be the father that Lindsay's child deserved. _

_It's not that he didn't want to be a dad. Because he did. _

_Just not right now. _

_They had hardly spoken for the remaining hours that they were at work on their respective shifts. After they had witnessed the Harris' and their grandson being united, Stella had motioned for Lindsay to head off with her, leaving him stood, in the hallway of the precinct alone. _

_And terrfied. _

_He had headed straight back to their shared office, and concentrated solely on working on his field report, so that by the end of his shift, it would be ready to be signed off, and boom. Case closed. _

_Except it wasn't case closed. He couldn't just shut everything out, and hope it would go away. Not matter how hard he wished that he could just stop time, even if it was just for thirty seconds, so that he could take a deep breath before moving forwards, he couldn't. _

_He knew that of all the reactions he could have picked, he had picked the wrong one. He knew better. He shouldn't have simply walked away from her once she had ID'ed their victim. _

_It hadn't occurred to him then, that in theory, he should have known the victim too; because he should have been there on her first appointment. They should have been sat there, holding hands, debating baby names, and enjoying the daunting, yet exciting time, together. _

_She shouldn't have had to make conversation, with, ironically, another lonesome, terrified pregnant woman. _

_He should have been there. And it was because she 'knew him', was the reason behind his absence at that first appointment. _

_Because, he expected that he had done exactly what she was scared of happening. _

_Nothing. _

_He had done nothing. He had said nothing. And he had still done nothing. Hours after both their shifts had finished. Both laid at their respective apartments, worrying, and trying to find the energy in them to face the task ahead. _

_The task? Parenthood. _

_It was funny, he mused to himself; the connotations of parenthood, for him at least. _

_When he heard the words parenthood, he imagined his parent's house in Staten Island. The white picket fence, the smells of a home cooked meal. The constant bickering and bantering between his two parents. For his parents, parenthood wasn't a task. _

_It was a way of life. A way in life they had made and developed for themselves and their family. _

_Which, was the complete opposite to what he was feeling. Terror, uncertainty, and even failure were among those adjectives he was currently processing in his mind. He couldn't understand that, despite his own upbringing, he seemed unable to grasp the concept that this was it. The two words, which changed anybody's life, had been spoken, to him. _

_And it was his turn to step up. _

_He bit his lip in contemplation as a bubbling sensation rose in his stomach as he reached for his cellphone. He held down button number two, as it brought up Lindsay's cell phone number. _

_He stared at the already memorised numbers for a minute, contemplating what he was about to say. But, the more he thought about it, the smaller chance he had of being able to get what he really felt out. _

"_Go wit' your instincts," he breathed as he pressed the green icon on his phone, connecting his cell with Lindsay's._

_With each ring of the call, waiting for her to answer and connect the call, he grew more and more nervous, uncertainty and butterflies threatening to take over his very person. He contemplated numerous times about disconnecting the call, but fought the urge. _

_He had got himself into this situation, and he was for damn sure he wasn't going to make her go through this alone any longer._

_As soon as she answered, her voice calmed him significantly. She had that effect. _

"_Hey, it's me. Listen," he said, gathering his words, "I've been thinking. I don't want you to go to your next appointment, alone. I think we… I think we need to talk."_

_He heard a sniffle at the other end of the line, "When can you be here at my place?"_

"_I'm on my way," he vowed as he shot up off the bed. _

_He raced through his apartment, throwing his jacket on, and shoving his feet into his converse, and quickly laced them up before he locked the apartment door. _

_As he raced down the stairs, he realised that he had no idea what it was the future held for them. _

* * *

Lindsay Messer smiled as she folded yet another maternity top before carefully placing it into her suitcase, "Hey husband… where's your head?"

He smirked at her as he stretched out on the bed they shared together. "How I was an absolute fucking moron when you told me you was pregnant."

Lindsay smiled softly and glanced down at the golden band that was sparkling on her left hand, "Was this before or after you proposed to me with a donut in my hand?"

"Good lord woman, let that go."

"It's hilarious. Telling the baby that… well, your daddy and I were in the park…"

"Carry on, Lindsay… Please. I love hearing this story… Hearing how completely moronic I was. Keep on going…"

She chuckled as she carefully sat on the cluttered bed and sighed, "Are you going to miss me as much as I'm going to miss you?"

Danny snorted, "Please, the day after I marry the person I've always wanted, she's leaving me. Fantastic start to married life."

Lindsay shook her head, "Oh hell no. You picked the time. You arranged all that, Mister. I'm not taking the wrap for me going away."

He rolled his eyes as he flopped on the bed, on top of all her stuff. He laid diagonally so that he was resting his head on her lap as she pressed her back against the headboard. "You married me because you love me, right?" he asked.

She nodded as she looked down at him and affectionately raked her left hand through his short hair. "Yeah. Why?"

"You didn't marry me because you were doing the right thing for the baby… Making sure that… Making sure I was around?"

She took a breath and prodded his nose with her middle finger, "Danny… I know the past few months haven't been easy. But like you said. You and me… we just... We make sense. In all of the confusion and drama we've gone through, in the end, us being together, it's what makes everything seem so clear. I knew that I would marry you… I just wanted it to be for the right reasons. I wanted to hear you say all the wonderful things you said to me. I wanted to be sure that you loved me. Like really loved me. For being me, and not being your baby's mother. What you said proved that."

He smiled as she traced the contours of his face with her index finger. "That was one of my finer moments."

She smiled before sighing. "I really need to carry on packing."

"Give me ten minutes with my wife." He protested as she tried to stand up. "Just ten minutes."

She smiled and sat back, and let him lay his head on her lap again. "I like the title of wife. Mrs. Messer. Mrs. Lindsay Messer. Think I can pull it off?" she smirked down at him with a twinkle in her eye.

"Please. You? You pull being a Messer off better than I do, and you've had…" he tugged on her arm, and glanced at her wrist watch, "you've had an hour and ten minutes of practice."

"You're full of crap," she giggled he sat up to press a kiss to her lips. "But I love you, Danny Messer."

"You know what, I think I love you too, Lindsay Messer. A whole lot."

"A whole lot?" She smirked, "That right, cowboy?"

"You can be for damn sure." He drawled in a terrible country accent.

"Please don't ever do that again, I will either hurt you or divorce you."

"Consider it done." Danny smiled as he sat up and kissed her softly. "With you… This is it, Linds. Me and you and our baby. The Messers."

She smiled, "This is where it is. Me and you." She said as she drew a love heart on his chest with her index finger, "When I'm here, with you... It's where I'm the happiest. With my husband and baby."

"You going all emotional on me, Linds?"

"Might be," she smirked as she blinked a tear away. "I saw you and your teary eyes, Messer. Don't pull that shit with me," she teased. "You were getting emotional. Dealing with the loss of your bachelor status."

"I haven't been a bachelor for a long time, Linds." He told her. "I was off the market four years ago."

"Oh yeah, what happened four years ago?" she smirked down at him as he laced his left hand with her left hand.

"I met my wife." He smiled as their wedding bands glistened together in the light of their shared bedroom.

* * *

**_Now, I challenge you to write your one 5x17 oneshot... _**

**_R&R? Much appreciated :]_**


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